I was invited to a potluck / barbeque this weekend and participated in a lengthy discussion on various spiritual topic. I found it interesting how people were interacting in the conversations. One guy talked about war, while the other guy was discussing the law of attraction. There was a physicist who was determined to make us believe his point of view on a subject. Very interesting energy.
Then I was approached by this young guy that asked what I meant about the comment I made which was," If you want to know where you are going in your life, just look at the friends you hand out with." He couldn't understand that by hanging around his friends that he would not get any farther then where they have been, or are going in their lives. If you listen to someone that is negative all the time, and you believe that there is no issues with that, then you will most likely adopt these beliefs as well and end up repeating them.
But what happened next was very good for me as I will explain later. He proceeded to tell me that he was separated from his girlfriend and the had a child, but we still friends. And did not know where to go with that because he felt that it was not going anywhere and why did he hang around with her at all. So I started asking him questions like, " Where do you see it going? What do you want out of this relationship/ friendship? Are you hanging on to the hope that she will eventually change her mind and take you back? Is this blocking you from moving forward in your own life?
He said that he wanted to be part of his child's life. As I pointed out that he can still be with is child but does she have to be in the picture all the time? Anyway, it got to a point that he was feeling some anger coming up. And I said to him, that this was a good thing because he was finally getting in touch with his emotions and that if he really wanted the answer to his questions, he needed to look at his anger. He then stood up and walked away. Which did not surprise me because males have a challenge looking at their emotions, because they probably have not been taught how to deal with them and it is too scary, so they stuff them inside again and again.
Then, two days ago, I went for coffee with a good friend of mine, that is a male but has done a ton of inner work on himself and understands the process of healing emotions. As we were talking, the conversation turned and he kept on telling me all the things I was doing wrong in my life from his perspective of course. As I could feel myself withdrawing slowly, by not responding to his words, I felt myself getting deeply frustrated and angry. I knew I had to get away from him so that I could figure out what the heck was triggering me.
I told him that I was heading home, he wanted me to go for a walk and I was not in the mood. So I gave him a short hug and got in my truck and drove off. I was in shock as to why I was feeling so angry and could not put my finger on it. Until I got home. I realized that I was being shown by my guides and Spirit that when I was talking to this young guy at the potluck, and he ended up getting angry from the questions I kept asking him, what was happening with my good friend was the exact same thing.
I got to experience what I was projecting on to that potluck guy. I immediately called my friend and apologized and said that I got the message from that teaching moment that we shared . It was to show me how I am using my words to ask questions with other people, that I should be asking myself to get to the cause of my own anger issues. I told him that I felt like he was only focusing on all the stuff that I do that is wrong and that he never focuses on the things I do right. I felt extremely criticized.
He asked me who criticized me as a child. And I answered my mother. And I also told him that this is what I've been feeling with all my bosses lately. I feel they criticize everything I do. And it makes me feel like I'm not good enough at my jobs so I end up leaving all the time. So I', grateful today that I experienced that chat with that potluck guy because he might never know what gift of insight he gave me. And that's OK. It has shifted my view on how I treat people when they are asking for help. It's about learning to communicate in a different way. Perhaps focus on what they are doing right, and help them to see how they might be able to improve it from there.
Your Money Trailblazer
No comments:
Post a Comment