I had the wildest experience on the phone yesterday morning with my youngest sister. She called the day before to wish me a happy birthday and I was not able to call her that day to thank her, so I called her the next morning. Well the conversation went well until I made the mistake of commenting on how great it was that she was opening up to talking to the oldest brother in the family, who has always wanted a closer connection to her but has never had the opportunity to do so because of her detachment to the whole family
I never thought it would have caused her to react like she did. I realized after she hung up the phone on me, that she is full of rage and bitterness at what she believes "we" as a family did to her. In her speech she attacked me for my gift of many talents, for making the decision for giving up my daughter and not providing my mother the opportunity to become a grand mother therefor she took it upon herself to have two girls so mom could be a grand parent. I know , I was surprised.
She told me that my brother sent her a letter to apologies for something she said he did, and felt that the letter was a joke, and that she feels obligated to talk to him because he made an effort. But would have preferred a letter from him saying what a jerk and an asshole he was. So I asked her if that was how she thinks of her own brother? And she never responded. I will be explaining to my brother how she feels about him, because she is raising false hopes in him that his relationship with his sister is going somewhere, when it's not. He deserves the truth. She on the other hand, needs a wake up call. I would rather she hate me for who I am, then love me for who I am not.
My youngest sister tried to commit suicide when she was about 6 or 7 years old . Thank God it was a butter knife. My sister found her in the bathroom. I forgot the story behind that, but it is obviously still affecting her way of thinking today. She talks to two siblings out of 6 in the family. So I am calling on a meeting tomorrow night with three, perhaps four members of the family to discuss a plan of action to get her to realize that she matters to the family. She has become extremely narrow minded, stuck in her story and a problem focused human being, that is crying on the inside for attention.
I have a plan of action that involves love in action. She is not open to anything the family has to offer to help her find relief from her suffering. So I am going to see if my sister and brothers will participate in a card sending technique that I think might work. She can't hate me more then she does now. So this is what I plan to ask my family to do.
We will individually send my sister a card once a month. This card will not have a return address or a signature inside the card. This way, she may assume and accuse us of sending the cards, but there will be no proof of who sent it. I will also ask the family to not respond to any of her calls, if she decides to call to ask to stop sending cards. This will send her a message that she cannot control what we decide to do in our lives. She will probably throw away the cards, which will send her subconscious mind that she is throwing the love of her family in the garbage. When this has happened a few times, the subconscious mind will eventually shift and realize it is throwing love away.
Our true nature is to love, not hate one another. So I will envision her loving the family again and realize that she needs to let go of these thoughts, that she keeps in her mind that is separating her from her own family. That is the ego mind. It has taken control of her well being. When we receive a call from her, we send her another card. It can be a thank you card, thinking of you card, friendship card, someone special card, as long as there is nothing written in the card for her to get upset over. If she reads the card with any of the names of her family on there, it will make her more angry. It triggers the thoughts that create the anger and rage inside her. If we don't write anything, there is nothing she can get angry about except the fact that someone sent her a card, but who? That is silly, why would anyone get upset over someone who actually took the time and effort to send someone a card to show how much they appreciate this person.
This will cause her thinking mind to shift into a more open mind. It will get her out of her narrow mindedness that the ego has got her into. I think it could work. She is not any where's close to having a rational conversation with any one of us. And any apologies from anyone of us, is basically a waste of time. The card thing is our last resort to try and get her to see that we love her no more or no less then anyone else in the family. I'm a middle child, "The Peacemaker" of the family. I hope this works, because I can't think of anything else that would help shift her perception.
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