Questioning what I deserve

Even though I question what I deserve at times, I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I wonder what I really deserve. And maybe I have some doubts. Based on old misunderstandings. Do I really deserve more? Do I really deserve better? And maybe sometimes, I look at what other people have and I question whether they deserve it. And I choose to stop wasting my time on that. I don't even have to spend time wondering what I deserve from the universe. Or what I deserve from other people. I choose to focus on what I deserve from myself.

Do I deserve better from myself? Almost certainly. Do I take good care of myself? Do I treat myself with love and respect? Do I take advantage of opportunities? There's so many resources out there. Do I allow myself to use them for the highest good of all concerned? Am I doing what I can do? And that maybe I deserve better. I choose to know that I do. I deserve better from myself. And I'm not saying that to beat up on myself. It's just a matter of recognition. I choose to acknowledge how I treat myself. And acknowledge that I deserve better. And I'm clearing of whatever gets in the way of treating myself better. Looking at how I take care of myself. And I'm saying to myself," I deserve better than that."

So then why don't I take better care of myself? If there's more that I could be doing with my work. Ways that I could be advancing myself. And I'm not doing those things. I chose to say to myself, I deserve better then that. So then why don't I do more. What stops me from doing those things that would take better care of me? Allowing myself to remember  things that might have happened in the past where I got the message that I didn't deserve better. Maybe I was treated poorly and I decided, I guess that's what I deserve. And that's a misunderstanding. And how can anyone else treat me better, if I don't show that I believe that I deserve better.

I deserve to treat myself with great care. I deserve to treat myself as thought I deserve the best from life. And I'm making use of what I've got. I have plenty of opportunity and resources to create a much better life for myself. I'm allowing myself to know that I deserve that. And I'm allowing myself to take advantage of these opportunities. I deserve better and I'm giving it to myself. Not in a way that takes away from others. This isn't just about taking. Because I deserve better then that to. I deserve to live a life of integrity. Maybe I haven't always done that. And I'm acknowledging that I deserve better. I'm treating myself with love. I'm treating myself with respect. I'm treating myself as someone who matters. And I deserve that.

And so it is

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